I am cosmopolitan and comprehensive.

According to your comments to the previous note - I'd just like to let you know that I haven't found my home yet. I am not happy here, in Poland, and I guess my opinion will never change. This is why I'm writing this blog in English and why I even think all the time in English. I am trying to make life as variable as it can be. I am experimenting, looking for new interests, investing in new activities. I also haven't got my own, uniform style of photographing, choosing clothes to wear and music to listen. I think that is defining my authenticity. I hope you understand and accept this.


I looooveeee Miss Pandora! <3<3<3<3 It's a neverending, unlimited and faithful love!
She is perfect! Perfect language she speaks in, perfect country she lives in, perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect glasses, perfect style and clothes, perfect subject she studies, perfect photos she poses to... I love all her black and white/beige looks. She looks like an angel with red hair! So unique! I know, I know, I sound again like a little child :D But I am so excited and hungry for more of her that I just need to express it. Here are some looks, which I can't get out my mind:

And here is my looks inspired by Louise:


Blazer H&M 2008
Hat ALDO 2010
Ankle boots ZARA 2007
Lace shirt VINTAGE
Lace skirt ZARA 2010
Leggings MANGO 2009
Rings ALDO 2009


Trenchcoat H&M 2010
Heels ALDO 2009
Lace shirt VINTAGE
Lace skirt ZARA 2010
Tights TOPSHOP 2009
Rings ALDO 2009


Blazer H&M 2008
Hat ALDO 2010
Belt H&M 2008
Purse VINTAGE + feather DiY
Scarf BERSHKA 2010
Ankle boots ZARA 2007
Dress ZARA 2010
Leggings MANGO 2009
Rings ALDO 2009

Here is my lovely new lace dress from ZARA. I've made the feather purse with boa + the silver purse above. I've also found a new black scarf.

Remember this note? I HAVE FOUND IT! FINALLYYYY! ^___^ It's not white or beige, but I still want it! My very own cone bra ^__^

Here you can find more vintage lingerie - at What Katie Did!


You have got to hear 'An education' soundtrack! It's sooo inspiring! <3 Puts you in 60's times, you just want to sing, drink wine, smoke cigarettes and have a walk in Paris *__*

What is style? What is fashion?

I hate Poland. I see, I hear many opinions, many points of view, so different and contrasting. Every one wants to define style, mostly denying fashion. All I hear is that trends are for foolish people, that it's just an assembly line. Then I see a person, who said that, in new trendy clothes. Some people say that they hate fashion only because everyone else on the street is wearing same clothes. They suffer, 'cause what was defining style for them, now is defining style for mass. Alright - you want to be an individual, but it doesn't mean that you mustn't wear what's 'hot' in season. You can still wear hippie clothes or 80's styled jackets and be yourself. People dressed like you are pissing you off? Ask yourself - what are you stylish for? I'm guessing - to feel good in your skin, to dazzle yourself or the others. And t h e y, oh yes!, they are doing it for the same reasons. They are just looking for their own style. Trying on new trends, wanting to impress someone...

I hate popular Polish magazines. I buy them to see what's in stores now, read some interviews and see editorials, but... They are hypocritical and inconsequent! An article boosts: 'Find in trends what you like. Be real, be honest with yourself' and few pages after trends review: 'Blue high heels - A TOTAL MUST HAVE!' - meaning: if you won't buy them, you be cursed and no one will like you. Pitiful.

Where we can find the balance between fashion denial and being a fashion victim? First of all, you have to understand what really fashion is and where does it come from. You have to know that it's mostly not what great designers 'invent', but what we love! Yes! Trends are set by trendsetters ;) They travel around the world, they analyze people behavior and come up with what we will like in next years. (I have this incredible fun with predicting what will be trendy in future. And I usually have a good guess ^__^). You should also remember, that fashion was here all the time. In the antique times, 20's and 70's. You are often inspired by something you saw before, something that was popular many years ago. So what you should do is to accept fashion and trends. Have fun when your favorite lace dresses or gladiator heels are in stores. And leave alone people that don't have their own, individual style. It's their decision. If they don't condemn you, then you shouldn't do it too.

I hope I don't sound like I am giving Poles the cue. I am just summing up my thoughts. Please, don't take it personal :)

I have bought 2 beautiful spring dresses (one is a jumper, actually ;)), a denim vest, gray tights, white blouse and gladiator sandals.
About the vest - I've made it more personal - added some studs ;) Here are my 2 spring looks:


Trenchcoat H&M 2010
Blouse ZARA 2009
Skirt H&M 2007
Sunglasses H&M 2008
Heels H&M 2007
Tights H&M 2010
Necklaces H&M 2007


Jumper ZARA 2010
Vest H&M 2010 + DiY studs
Slims H&M 2010
Hat ALDO 2010
Ankle boots ZARA 2007
Necklaces H&M 2007

Police Officer Wellness: An introduction

My sister married a New Yorker. For whatever reason, her husband has a bunch of NYPD friends, and many of them turned up at the wedding (even though it was in California). I’ll never forget watching these boys in action at the reception. It was long before I myself become an officer and it left quite an impression on me. The first thing I noticed was that the group was really LOUD. Okay, I know, it’s a New Yorker thing. Fine. I also noticed the sheer abandon with which they consumed beer. I mean, it was like the world was going to end in five hours and they wanted to go out partying. Of course, as a head shrinker I made mental notes such as, “well, these guys seem to be alcohol abusers.” Pretty perceptive, eh? It’s difficult to articulate why it seemed to be a particularly self-destructive way of getting drunk. And, by the way, it was rather obvious all these guys planned on getting good and shitty. Despite the superficially festive atmosphere, something about these cops left me feeling sorry for them.

One retired NYPD cop pulled me aside and relayed the gory details about how he’d been screwed by the department. Apparently, he tried to promote at one point in his career and, because of politics, he was denied. He was venomous about his career and obviously this had seeped deep into his personal life. Suffice it to say, these guys all had some serious hangovers, which probably wasn’t a big deal ‘cause they were probably going to do something similar the next day.

The NYPD officers at my sisters wedding were unwell. “Wellness,” of course, is just a word. I’ve found the best way to explain what it really means is through an analogy: a car. There are two primary ways we determine if we like a car, the way it performs and the way we feel driving it. Regarding the former, does the car handle well? Does it have a good radius, gas milage blah blah blah. Right? Applied to the concept of wellness, we ask questions like, do you get into a lot of verbal or physical altercations? Is there a lot of overt conflict in your life? Do you fight with your partner a lot? Are you the subject of disciplinary action at work? Is your IA file as thick as your general orders? The great thing about this measure of wellness is that it’s fairly objective. Unless you’re in DENIAL,which is not just a river in Egypt. If you have integrity and are capable of being honest with yourself, you should be able to figure out how well you are in this regard. I should say here that wellness is not a discrete category. It’s not either or. It’s a spectrum.

The second way of figuring out if you like a car is how you FEEL driving it. Do you like the interior? Is it an ergonomically happy place to be? Applied to wellness, the question is, how do you feel in your skin? Unlike performance, this is wholly subjective. And, again, in order to move in the direction of wellness, you need to be able to be honest with yourself. You don’t need to confess your sins to a priest or go to therapy about it, just be honest with yourself. Are you angry too much? Anxious, depressed, irritable, unhappy, unfulfilled? You get the point. If, in these honest moments, you determine it doesn’t feel so good being in this car, then you have an opportunity to work on your own personal wellness.


Wow. Thanks for asking. Remember the story at the beginning? That’s why. In California we have the Commission on Peace Officer Standards and Training (POST). This is the government agency charged with determining what cops are required to know about to be cops. There’s no POST requirement that we learn about wellness. I’m guessing there was very little, if anything, mentioned about wellness in your academy. “Stress management” is one part of wellness and that gets a bit of talk but it’s usually half-hearted.

In general, and at the risk of sounding cynical (and unwell), police agencies don’t ensure we are working on our own wellness because we are cogs in a wheel. We’re tools used by the state to carry out its mission. Wellness is left up to us as individuals. My personal and professional experience has shown that if you don’t pay attention to taking care of yourself, there’s a very good chance this career will permanently warp your mind. And not in a good way.

You can tell the veteran officers who have attended to their own wellness from those that have not. The overweight, angry, hard drinking, bitter, divorced, alone veterans either didn’t give a rats ass about wellness, or the importance of it was never taught to them. The state doesn’t care, ‘cause they sucked twenty plus years out of the cop. The only thing these folks look forward to is retirement, when they can FINALLY live. These same veterans, who haven’t embraced the concept of wellness count down the days to retirement. Unfortunately, they probably also don’t know that some frighteningly well done research has shown that police officers live a full nine years less than the general population. So, the cop that doesn’t take care of him or herself throughout that long police career finally retires in the hopes of starting a “happy” life, collects about five years of retirement money, does the guppy on the living room floor and unceremoniously dies.

I’m gonna pass on that and I invite you to do the same. Should you decide that this word “wellness” actually does mean something, we should talk about how one lives well. In upcoming blog entries I’ll cover some specific habits and attitudes associated with wellness. For now, if you remember what you read today, you’ll have about half of what wellness involves: an awareness that it’s something to pay attention to.

L’ Chaim. (“to life”)

What a day for a daydream...

I've been wearing only underwaer lately, so I've got no new outfits to show you... ^__^"  But I have something else! It's a photo shoot I've made three days ago. The model is Olimpia from WonderModels and of course I've chosen the clothes, hair and make-up. The style came out very 70's and hippie.

I am going to put here more of my photos. Hope you'll like them! ^^


I bought yesterday a mint color nail polish and it's great! Makes your nails look so fresh!


I am soooooo in love with the song, the photography and model from 'rouge Coco' commercial! Oh, I want so much to live in Pariiiisssssssss!!!!!!!!! <3 <dreaming>

Police Marriage and the Road Less Travelled.

A law enforcement career places unique stressors on marriages. I’d like to give you one tool for navigating them. However, first let me say there is a grand total of zero research within the last thirty years which concludes cops have a significantly higher divorce rate than the general population. Yet, if you checked the internet, you’d find there is a very popular misconception that we have outlandishly high divorce rates. In fact, we may...all I’m saying here is that there’s no research to support that claim. Okay, moving on.

Let’s look at two of the most common problems police marriages encounter.

The Problem:

The officer is exhausted and worthless as a marital partner.

Officer fatigue is both qualitatively and quantitatively different than the run of the mill fatigue others have at the end of their work week. It’s biologically based. So, the first thing to know is that it’s normal to be completely gassed after work. I learned about this by reading Kevin Gilmartin’s book, Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement. He calls this phenomenon, the "hypervigilance biological roller coaster.” I had my wife read the book when I was done. I said, “see, it’s not that I’m just a lazy, worthless bastard.” In fairness, she didn’t accuse me of this, but it’s how I felt.

It’s important that both partners understand the physiological basis of officer fatigue. I’m not going to explain how this happens because it’s pretty involved and I’m, well, too lazy to get into it right now. The nutshell version is as follows: cops are always geared up at work. By “geared up” I mean your body is ready for action at all times, whether your consciously aware of it or not. Even if your eating lunch at work, you’re still geared up. Your sympathetic nervous system is activated. After prolonged periods of sympathetic arousal your body has a rebound effect. It’s the “what goes up must come down” principle. If it (your body) goes way up, it’s gonna go way down. There, I saved you all the five dollar words.

I wish there were a way to really fix this problem, but there isn’t. Drinking a lot of water and exercise seem to help. The impact of the problem is lessened by your being aware of it.

The Problem:

Lack of Communication.

Very few officers say they have a problem communicating with their spouse. What they say is, "my wife doesn't understand thus and such." While it's not the "presenting complaint" to therapists it is the cause of all kinds of other complaints.

Learn how to talk to each other. Yeah, that seems pretty obvious doesn’t it? It’s easier said than done though. Based on my experience as a therapist, my own life, and innumerable conversations I’ve had with co-workers and friends, I can say that most marital failures are ultimately the result of failures of communication.

Cops typically don’t like to hear this but egalitarian style marriages, in which both partners have an equal say in important matters, are less likely to fail than those in which one partner (usually the cop) calls the shots. Sharing power isn’t easy for many of us. The road most travelled by, is the one in which cops have a hammer and constantly seek out nails. Regardless of how horribly it goes, we still try and use that damn hammer. Like about half of all Americans, cops use that hammer all the way through divorce court.

I could blather on with a large laundry list of ways to help you improve your marital communication, but I’ll just give you one. If you learn this one technique well your marriage will improve. Guaranteed. It’s called “active listening.” Active listening requires we take the road less travelled by. A prerequisite is your willingness to put the hammer down and try and new tool.

Most of us have heard of active listening but few of us do it well. It’s closely related to a pearl of wisdom offered by Steven Covey in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. The “habit” I refer to is, “seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Again, easier said than done.

Okay, so pop any marital problem into the equation (financial problems, child rearing, how you spend your down time etc.). You and your spouse are struggling with a problem and you’re at loggerheads. For simplification purposes let’s say this is a traditional male-female relationship and the male is the cop. Well call him Jake. The wife is Cindy. Let’s say Jake has the “problem” that Cindy doesn’t understand his work pressures and jams him up at home about doing more to support her. Sound familiar? Cindy complains that she feels like a single parent and is getting washed out to sea with holding down the fort at home. Pretty generic but It’ll work.

Here’s what you do.

Ground rules: (a) No bashing. That means no statements like “you’re an idiot...you’re worthless...I hate you.” You get the point. (b) No generalizations. Stay away from, “you never” and “you always.” We can’t realistically address things we always or never do. We can address what I did or didn’t do this morning. This exercise is for specific problems. You can say, “I FEEL you’re never or always thus and such (as long it doesn’t violate the first ground rule). Feelings are never wrong. Just know that generalizations are never productive for resolving marital conflict.

  1. Sit down with your spouse in an environment in which you will not be disturbed.
  2. Cindy talks and Jake listens. Oh, but it’s not that easy buddy. There’s listening and then there’s active listening. By active listening I mean you hear Cindy’s experience on her terms not yours. You immerse yourself in her reality. Instead of forming your rebuttal after hearing her first complaint (one of many she’ll likely have), you sit with it. You can have any thought you want as Cindy talks (e.g., “that’s bullshit!”) but keep that thought to yourself AND don’t let that thought distract you from hearing Cindy. Why? ‘Cause there’s a test at the end. So, Jake seeks first to understand Cindy’s experience. Having done this many times myself I can tell you it’s not easy. You get hot in the face and battle defensiveness. You hear every single complaint Cindy has. You wait until she’s completely done. Jake does NOT interrupt Cindy while she’s talking.
  3. Jake tells Cindy what he just heard her say. This will be quite a challenge for Jake because he’s going to have a hard time concentrating. His mind will be filled with lot’s of vile thoughts. But Jake finds a way to spit out what he heard Cindy say. Hopefully, (though this isn’t required) Jake will actually feel some sympathy for Cindy’s experience.
  4. When Jake’s done articulating Cindy’s experience, Cindy has an opportunity to correct or elaborate further on what Jake said. Again, Jake listens only and then tries again to get it right. Jake can ask questions to ensure he understands what Cindy is saying. When he’s ready to go, Jake says things like, “I heard you say you felt blown off by me this morning when you tried to talk to me about...”
  5. It’s Jake’s turn. Cindy listens. Jake refrains from blasting Cindy out of the water because he’s pissed off at what he just heard. Rather, he sticks to HIS issues.
  6. Then, repeat steps 3 & 4. Jake corrects anything Cindy got wrong and Cindy listens.

That’s active listening. Rinse and repeat for future conflict. If done properly, it can be magical. Nothing takes the steam out of a problem better than having your partner “get it.” Think of how many problems have at their root, some sense of the other person “not getting it.”

Cops solve problems. Even if we have to make stuff up, we’ll solve the problem. It’s effective at work but makes for an epic fail at home. Problem solving and active listening are polar opposites.

Let me know how it goes.

Me, myself and I = home alone!

Today is all about me! I've got a lot of spare time today so I've been playing with my clothes.

First is a romantic 'swan' that I've been dreaming of. I brought this corset from my old house when I saw latest trends with lingerie.


Skirt ZARA 2009
Heels ALDO 2009
Rings ALDO 2009

I wanted to use those photos for the blog's banner, but wordpress' themes don't match them :(

Second are my next H&M BLUES contest entries:

Pin-Up with my boy's shirt ;)

Shirt HOUSE 2009
Dress H&M 2007
Heels ZARA 2009
Bow band VINTAGE

Boho/hippie/70's styled


Shirt ZARA 2009
Shorts MANGO 2009
Socks H&M 2008
Heels ALDO 2009
Necklaces H&M, TOPSHOP
Bracelet BIJOU  BRIGITTE 2006
Headband DIY

Third is my today's look - back to the 90's!

Tanktop H&M 2009
Shirt BERSHKA 2009
Jacket ZARA 2009
Jeans H&M 2009
Shoes CONVERSE 2009
Bag ZARA 2007
Chains H&M 2009


As you can see - I have had my hair cut! So here I am, sitting in the chair, showing the local hairdresser, that I want the bang to look like this:
And what does she do? She cuts it like this:

She is very talented, isn't she!? Well now I am pissed off, saying to myself for the hundred time that I'll never go to that hairdresser anymore... but I guess when I'll be in a hurry and out of money I do it again... Fortunately, my hair grow up fast.


I just got an email from Nancy, who runs Mode Republic. It's a street fashion flipbook, similar to LOOKBOOK, but containing also Product Matching Engine, which allows you to find and buy clothes similar to what you see on, for example, my photo ;) Stylish people, who add fashion sets, can earn money, when someone inspired buys by Mode Republic engine. I love it!


As you can also see I've made some update in the right column. There are maaaanyyy new links to on-line stores, blogs and inspiring sites. You better go and check them out, or forget&regret :P ;)

Cheers <3

A Hidden Locker: where cops store their feelings

Want to make your co-workers really uncomfortable? Talk about your feelings. Feelings are to cops what kyrptonite is to Superman. Officers are good at some feelings, like anger and indignation. We’re very open with those. The more “sissy” feelings go in their own special locker. Finding them is not easy. It’s like finding the battery holder in one of those obnoxious moving stuffed animals we get our kids. We peel away flaps of fur looking for the place to put in the AA’s.

I’ve written a book which spells out in gory detail, the psychological land mines associated with a career in law enforcement. I make a concerted effort throughout to support my conclusions, wherever possible, with research. My obsessiveness about facts was inherited from my father, who told me “Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one and they all stink.” He wasn’t known for his profundities.

Since I’ve taken the time to sift through the research projects of countless academics - a frequently painful and boring undertaking - I figure why not give you some of the information. You can take it or leave it. Which leads us to the topic at hand, police officers and emotional expression.

Premiss number one here is that there exists a police personality. If you were a criminal justice major, you already know that. Chances are somewhere along the line you did a term paper on the subject. We’re a type. The process of applying for a law enforcement job is more about screening out people then it is about screening in folks. Emotionally leaky applicants are shown the door rather quickly in the process.

So, cops generally have similar personality profiles and that profile includes the ability to keep our feelings or emotions well under control. That makes sense. Society needs people to show up on the scene of horrific traffic collisions and not freak out. Most people would melt down upon seeing two bodies, impossibly contorted, within the passenger compartment of an SUV.

We don’t have the luxury of expressing a normal emotional response to things. But here’s the problem: contrary to popular opinion, we’re human. Being both a human being and a police officer poses some real problems. Police work can be really bad for us bipeds. In fact, there’s probably a hidden laboratory somewhere where government scientists are trying to create police robots. It would be a good investment on Uncle Sam’s part.

Robots don’t have messy feelings. They don’t need emotional nourishment like us. We have feelings about dead bodies, about the administration, the criminal justice system, our co-workers, injured children, promotions, blood and guts, and bad guys trying to kill us. Unlike robots, we experience feelings, such as fear, horror, sadness, depression, affection, confusion. Before we even realize we’ve had a feeling we shove it out of conscious awareness. It’s an unconscious process. Where do these feelings go? They go in our private psychic lockers.

I’m not recommending police officers find a corner and go suck their thumb when things get ugly. If cops freely expressed all our emotions we couldn’t function in this job. Therefore, that locker located somewhere inside the police personality’s hidden underbelly, is a good and necessary invention. But, listen up: what goes in that locker needs to be maintained. It’s a vital part of our human equipment. Like maintaining our work gear, we need to maintain our emotions. The reason for this is quite simple: unlike robots, our emotions can make us very sick.

At a bare minimum we need to do two things. First, know that all those thoughts and feelings you have at work don’t go away merely because you shoved them in the locker. One of Sigmund Freud’s immortal contributions to mankind was his developing the idea of the unconscious. Freud made us realize that much of what occupies our mind is unconscious. Some people mistake “unconscious for “non-existent.” Out of awareness is not the same as “doesn’t exist.” As cops, we tend to be empirically minded: if we don’t see, feel, smell or hear it, we become skeptical. Moreover, our unconscious calls a lot of shots. It’s a force which guides much of our behavior. Making the unconscious, conscious was Sigmund Freud’s Holy Grail. It’s a worthy endeavor for us as well. Helping people do that is part of what psychodynamically trained psychotherapists do.

Second, find a place where you can give those thoughts and feelings an expression. How you channel the items in your locker is limited only by your imagination and what works for you as an individual. The goal is to find an avenue to experience and then discharge the many emotions you collect at work. You can use art, talking it out, journaling, meditation, yoga, etc. In police psychology, how we manage the emotional aspects of law enforcement is called, “coping.” Coping is a topic unto itself and will be discussed in the future. For now, start paying attention to your thoughts and feelings. Not just the easy ones to track, like anger or frustration, but all of them. Then, do something to let them out of your body.

Part of what makes us human is having a complex, powerful and wide ranging emotional life. Why not take advantage of that by allowing ourselves the experience of feeling. Life is short, don’t short change yourself.


For the last month I've made for myself some headbands. It's time to sum up all that stuff ;) Headbands are surely adding some kind of beauty and charm to a face and to whole outfit. I've got the problem of forgetting to wear them. I need a sticky note on my closet's door saying: 'HEADBAND!' ;) Anyways... if you have some spare time just pick a piece of material, a twine or anything else you think you'll never make use of and create an unique headband! ^^


1. A hippie braid made of some twine.
2. Lace - just a piece of material tied on head ;)
3. Bow tie as a bow band ;D
4. Ears - they're flexible so you get a bunny or mickey mouse look; made of wire and black material.

And here is my latest look. I think I happened to look like Agyness Deyn ;D


Jacket ZARA 2009
Dress H&M 2008
Leggings MANGO 2009
Hat ALDO 2010
Ankle boots ZARA 2007


I found on lookbook.nu a beautiful and stylish girl that inspired me. Actually... I think I'm in love with her... ;D No, seriously, her style is brilliant and uniform, the clothes she picks are fitting her so well and she is indeed gorgeous. She is the ideal example of combination of romantic and sexy style. I love how her red hair, pale face and cute blush contrast simple, but edgy clothes. She picks accessory deliberately, shoes are always distinct. Love... <3 So here it is, Tahti Syrjala from Ireland. Go, get inspired!


And my outfit unsuccessfully inspired by her style :(


Blouse with puffy sleeves RESERVED 2010
Shorts ZARA 2007
Tights H&M 2008
Ankle boots ZARA 2008
Golden necklace PROMOD 2007
Fake pearls C&A 2007

Follow my blog with bloglovin

Happy Blog, Kreativ Blogger, hat and vest.

Lately I am wearing constantly my ZARA vest and new ALDO hat. I guess that's what defines my style.
I had my tooth fixed yesterday and it aches like hell :( That's why I'm staying at home, while the winter strikes back with cold and wind.


Top with puffy sleeves TOPSHOP 2009
Flounce blouse H&M 2009
Vest ZARA 2009
Hat ALDO 2010
Socks H&M 2008
Rind ALDO 2009
Necklaces TOPSHOP 2009 and H&M 2008


I have been nominated to "Kreativ Blogger" and "Happy Blog" awards by Nhung. So first of all - thank You, I feel honored and... here we go:



1. Post the logo on your blog and list 7 things about you that people may find interesting.
2. Give the link to the blog of the person who've nominated you.
3. Nominate at least 7 blogs and let the owners know about the award.

7 things about me:

1. I'm with my fiancée for 7 years and a half, he is 5 years older and we met when I was 12 years old.
2. I started working as a wedding photographer when I was 16.
3. I started my own business when I was 18.
4. None of my friendships survived, meaning - I've got no friends.
5. I always wanted to be a model, an actress, a designer, a singer, a stylist, a journalist, a photographer, a writer/poet. I always wanted to run a restaurant, a photographic studio, a boutique or on-line store, a modeling agency. I am going to fulfill at least four of those dreams.
6. My character is full of reverses. I'm brave and shy, cheerful and depressed, etc... I am almost never sure what I really want. I guess that's why I am so comprehensive.
7. I can foresee. I've got great intuition and my dreams are often a prophesy. But I have never won big money in a lottery :(



List 10 things that make you happy, try to do at least one of them today, and tag 10 bloggers that brighten your day.

10 things that make me happy:

1. Love, my M :* and every minute spent with him.
2. Photography - when I look at beautiful photographs, when I take ones and when mine are published.
3. Clothes, shopping and fashion.
4. Music. A day without music is a bad day.
5. Movies. It's some great art for me.
6. Creating - anything. Drawing, writing, photographing, designing.
7. Longing for my very own house.
8. Good food. I love to eat.
9. Working on my fit: jogging, squash, skateboard (I wish I had more time and will for that).
10. My mum. I love to see her after a long separation.

And the nominees are:

1. Age of Vintage
2. Auditorium by mee
3. Alice Point
4.  Almaanies
5.  Bloo 90 fashion
6. Style Waves
7. Nanx
8. Altowiolinistka
9. Just another day
10. Przymierzalnia

All I want for 2010 is... - part 2

I am desperately looking at shops' displays with tears in my eyes. I want some new clothes so much! But when I also want to survive I can't spend a penny ;( While waiting for money rush, I'll update my 2010 wishlist. Today I've got one wish checked - it's a man's vintage hat (thanks, m ;*)!

1. Light-color man's jacket - I'm so sick of black!
2. High waisted shorts - chic or denim.
3. Denim shirt with short sleeves.
4. Denim vest with studs <3
5. Romantic, loose flower dress.
6. Lots of new over-knee socks and tights <3
7. Lots of lots of jewelery - old watches, big necklaces, feather and flower hair bands.

what i want for 2010

I've joined H&M BLUES contest with my superhero look. I used my old H&M dress from Paris and handmade shoulders that I've dreamed about. I am also going to post more 'denim' look soon.

Dress H&M 2007
Vest ZARA 2009
Tights H&M 2008
Ankle boots ZARA 2008
Gloves PRIMARK 2009
Shoulders with chains HANDMADE

The Razor's Edge of Police Work: Good Cop, Sick Cop

Welcome. By way of introduction, I am a police officer and a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California. I became a cop at the age of thirty-seven and brought a lot of professional and personal life experience with me to this job.

My dad was a California Highway Patrol officer. Though I never asked for it, I had a front row ticket to the tragicomedy that became his life. Pops was pretty macho. He was an M.P. in the army, and served in Korea. After the military, he took on the police persona with much vigor. We had the BBQ's at our house. He golfed, stood around drinking beer talking home improvement and auto mechanics with the boys. We were part of the law enforcement "family." Ultimately, while eating popcorn and sipping 7-Up at the show, I found the "family" to be pretty fickle. My dad went out on a medical, and had serious chronic back problems. He became depressed and lost. Well, that's a buzz kill isn't it? It didn't take the family long to figure out that Shannon was no fun to hang out with. So, pops ended up a divorced, depressed, chain smoking alcoholic who died at fifty-seven. Weee!

When I applied to become a police officer I didn't need a new career. I already had a good one. Early in my professional life, and for better or worse, I decided I wasn't going to pursue making bucket-loads of money. Rather I was going to pursue work I found enjoyable and rewarding. Regarding policing, the thought wasn't "I want to be a cop," but, "I want to be a good cop." I've never taken on a job with the aim of merely being able to do it. I wanted to do it well.

When I was in the academy, our class was told ten percent of cops do the work of the other ninety percent. "Do you want to be part of the ten or the ninety?" we were repeatedly asked. After five years on the job I have found that ratio to be more or less accurate. Most officers have learned the "less is more" approach as a means for surviving this career. I'm part of the ten and feel proud of that. Enter the problem.

There exists some empirical support for the idea that the most hard-charging cops are especially prone to develop psychological problems. What! How could that be? We are the ones who embrace all aspects of the police lifestyle. If choir practice is what good cops do, well then sign us up. We're first on scene to the most dangerous, gruesome and tragic calls.

Good cops also quickly figure out they better be well ensconced within the police culture. You're either in or out. Out is a lonely, uncomfortable place. Unfortunately, it is the police culture itself that can make us sick. As cops, we pride ourselves in knowing about "reality." We feel smug about the fact that we see the cold, hard facts of life. This is an error. It's an example of what Kevin Gilmartin calls "cop illogic." We, in fact don't know all about reality. What we know is police reality. They're not at all the same.

It's through the police culture we learn some dangerous Truths. We learn those who dare to share their emotional upset at work are weak or weird. Or both. Never mind that such an attitude flies in the face of science. We learn to view the world in an oversimplified manner. There are criminals, victims and assholes and that's about it.

Think about sharing with your co-workers your experience of taking a meditation class. What do you think would happen? In police culture, meditation has no place. And, that's the problem right there. While I use meditation as an example, the point is that many behaviors and attitudes that science has shown to be life and health affirming are punted out of our briefing rooms. Good cops don't meditate, talk about their feelings, go to therapy or do art work.

Before you put me on blast for generalizing here, know that I'm not talking about you specifically, or your department specifically. We're here talking about police culture generally. Social scientists are busy writing scholarly papers on whether or not there is such a thing as police culture. As cops, we already know there's a culture to be reckoned with.

Can one be a good cop and not a sick cop? Stand-by.

Beige, gold & brown.

I've recently joined LOOKBOOK and fell in love with this place <3 There are so many inspiring, talented people! I just can't get enough of it. So if you haven't seen it before - go and have fun!

LOOKBOOK.nu: collective fashion consciousness.

Here is my profile. If you want to register too and don't have the invitation code - just write to me, I'll send you one :)


I stopped telling you about my rules in fashion. Well, here it is again. Mix black with beige, gold and brown - in my opinion it's the best combination of colors. It matches all kinds of beauty, always looks perfect and adds expression to your style. Like here:


Top with puffy sleeves ZARA 2009
Lace dress VERO MODA 2008
Belt with studs VINTAGE
Leggings MANGO 2009
High heels ALDO 2009
Bow band VINTAGE


Sweater ZARA 2009
Belt H&M 2006
Blouse ZARA 2009
Vest ZARA 2009
Shorts ZARA 2007
Tights TOPSHOP 2009
High heels ALDO 2009
Necklace with a heart H&M 2007

Topshop fan club.

I always wanted to have someone close to talk to about fashion.  It gets more and more real... :) I'd like to present a very promising, young designer who's a good friend of mine. His name is Adrian Mardzyński, but I prefer to call him Marcel and since he's a designer his nick name became 'Coco Marcel' ( he's going to find out while reading this ;)). I hope that we'll come up with a better pseudonym or will anglicize his real name ;) Anyway - here are some of his early projects and me posing in his pilot cap ;)

You can see in his style a mixture of skate, punk and alternative culture with a touch of chic. His aim is to work with TOPMAN.


I hope that my advise on choosing the way of life was helpful and I wish him very best! :)


What a coincidence! I've got a lot of TOPSHOP on me that day ;)


Jacket TOPSHOP 2008
Dress TOPSHOP 2009
Vest ZARA 2009
Roll-neck top PROMOD 2008
Roll-neck blazer CUBUS 2008
Leggings MANGO 2008
Flat  boots ECCO 2007
Scarf H&M 2008
Gloves PRIMARK 2008
Hat H&M 2007
Bracelet CUBUS 2008

PS. I won in a 'black set' contest by Rexona & Agatiszka ;) Yupie! ^_^ Details here.