Getting it Twisted: 4 Mental Mistakes Cops Make

When I see a new police officer client in my practice, I listen for the content of the officer’s problems. 
This department is FUBAR
My supervisor is a jackhole 
I can’t sleep 
you get the point. 
Yet, more important than the content of our problems is how we think about our problems. More often than not, our thinking is the problem, or at least makes it much worse.  
You’re feelings are never wrong, but your thoughts can be. A few years of unchecked, incorrect thinking can get us pretty sick. That’s because our thoughts lead to feelings, and prolonged feelings (i.e. anxiety, depression) screws up our body by releasing potentially toxic levels of cortisol and the suppressing feel-good chemicals like serotonin.  So, ground zero for your gastritis, insomnia, anxiety or depression is HOW YOU THINK about stuff. 
Depression and anxiety meds fly off shelves faster than the busy bees at your HMO can stock ‘em. Pharmeceutical industry executives have huge houses and take expensive vacations because they sell us medicine that helps fix the results of our twisted thinking. 
Cops aren’t especially prone to twisted thinking, we just gravitate toward certain types of what are technically called ‘cognitive distortions.’ These are the distortions I see the most in police officers,
[the names of these bad boys come from The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns]
1. All or nothing thinking. This happens when, instead of thinking of your police agency as running well in some areas and poorly in others, we conclude, “This place is totally fucked up!” TOTALLY. Nothing good here. Really? Very few things in life are all bad (or all good for that matter).  When we consistently see things as all this or all that we are making a mental mistake. 
2. Labeling. This happens when you label the totality of who you are based on one event. For example, I recently allowed a guy to look for his ID in a duffle bag he had at his feet, an officer safety mistake. A concerned fellow officer pointed this out to me. If I were to say to myself, “I’m a fuckin’ IDIOT!” that would be an example of labeling. Allowing the bad guy to access his duffle bag was a tactical error, not an indictment of my worth as a human being. 
Cops tend to be perfectionists. Employers love perfectionists and we usually have successful professional lives. That is, until the pressure we put on ourselves blows up our body and we get panic attacks or ulcers. 
3. “Should statements”: Related to perfectionism. Not sure why, but it seems like police officers ‘musterbate’ more than your average bear. 
I need to be more careful.
I need to stop making this mistake.
I need to tell my Sgt. to find another punching bag. 
I need to have a tougher skin. 
No, you don’t. Believing that you must is bad for your health. How ‘bout, 
I’d feel safer at work if I took my time more and called for cover more often. 
I’d like to really focus up on my report writing.
I think I’d feel better about myself if I set limits with Sgt. Douche Bag. 
I’m a sensitive person, a quality almost universally seen as desirable. I’m going to practice toughening up a bit for this cop job so I can feel less vulnerable at work. 
4. Emotional Reasoning. Those who use emotional reasoning either forget or don’t know that emotions are, by definition, temporary. In this world, I feel angry = I’m being screwed over or feeling guilty means “I’m a bad person.” We cannot draw long term conclusion ― any long term conclusion ― from an emotion. Better is to (a) recognize it as a feeling and (b) know that it will pass. Even desirable feelings (i.e. that of being ‘in love’) won’t last forever. 
In The Feeling Good Handbook, author David Burns offers up some practical advice for how to “untwist” your thinking. For now, if you’re able to identity your own cognitive distortions you’re well on your way. Peer support officers in particular would benefit from trying to identify not only their own twisted thinking, but that of their fellow officers who come to them for help. 
Happy untwisting!

Collection sneak peek!

I can finally show you something you have all been waiting for... It's nearly May and I am still not finished with my collection, BUT I'm trying my best. There are still some clothes to be sewed and I've got also some new ideas, so it's gonna take a while until all pieces will be on-line. Now the store is made and the logo... oh, it's a hard one! I think I'll show you some sketches, maybe you'll help me choose one good logo :)

Have I already showed you the new interview with me? :) I think I forgot to do that! So here it is!

I have finally settled down in my new apartment. It's wonderful. I love my wardrobe and I can't wait to show it to you! Soon I'll post something totally about interior desing, furniture and accessories :)

I am also going to spend some time creating some.. photos! Finally! I am so inspired and ready to photograph! I've got crazy ideas for styling and make-up. I just hope I'll find the time to do all this stuff.

Am I complaining all the time? :( I feel guilty and bad for writing so little. I feel like I am letting you, guys, down :(  Well, I gotta tell you... although there are many setbacks, I feel so happy! All I need right now is vacation, some sun, a swimming pool and then... I am ready to work 24/7! :) I've got a lot of new photos, so I promise to update you much often! :)

So here is it. The first view for the collection. I present you a black blazer with studs and sheer sleeves. It's kinda boyfriend and kinda chic with a touch of punk. Plus - here is an earing I made for the collection. Love it! :) So... what do YOU think? ^_^

PS. Have a nice holiday :)

Kate for Love!

Can you imagine, that my girl Kate is promoting an on-line store we all like -!? She went to London for a modeling contract and became a face of the spring promotional photoshoot. The world is so small! I love these pics, so fresh and cute! ^_^ Check them out!

And also, if you haven't seen it before - visit the store - the clothes are amazing!